In this week’s episode, Dad physically harms one of his children. In order to maintain some semblance of suspense, I will not say which one.

I will say his name rhymes with “Fanthony,” though. And that he’s writing this post right now.

And that it’s Anthony.

A week ago, Ash and Justin came to Plano to film a few episodes of HAWP at the offices of Gearbox Software (Borderlands, Brothers in Arms).

This is the first of those episodes.

I hope you like it, because if you don’t, you’re getting like four more episodes set at Gearbox and you’re gonna be like “oh goddammit, not another one of those” and we’ll be like “yeeaah sorry about that” then sort of shrug and release them anyway.

(Also, I asked for Grand Theft Spaceman screenshots on Twitter and received this by “thedoyle” and this by “JoeGribbs.” Which, awesome.)

Remember the finale to HAWP Season Two? The one done in the style of an adventure game? Upon watching said episode, did you think to yourself, “gee — I liked that, but I wish it could have required more clicking on my part?”

If so, then you’re in luck;  myself (writing), Jonathan Reynolds (programming), and Ian Wexler (art) just completed a playable HAWP adventure game.

A warning: as a game, it sucks. The puzzles are awful (my bad). As a “I wonder what happens if I try all the dialog options and try the ‘open’ verb on Papa Burch” comedy-toy-thing, on the other hand,  it’s hopefully kinda enjoyable.

It pretty much just retells the story of the season two finale, except with one additional (and really poorly designed) puzzle where you’ve gotta grab a magnet that looks like the sun, then push it for some reason. Basically, if you’re looking for brain-twisting puzzles rather than some cheap laughs, you’re not gonna enjoy this.

So, yeah. Go play it, and, if you liked it, please feel free to hit the donation button below — all proceeds are split between Jonathan and Ian, without whom the game would have not been possible.

This one’s about ‘Merica.

This week’s episode is about family, and giant spiders.

More the latter than the former, really.

This week’s episode is about gettin’ laid.

Also, don’t forget the season 2 DVD is out!

Sorry it was so late getting on GT.com — bit of a mixup.

Anyway, this week’s episode is about — wait for it — the best game characters of 2010. Hope you like it.

As mentioned earlier, new HAWP episodes will premiere on GTTV every so often. GTTV is, as one might have gathered from the last two letters of its acronym, a television show. Television is kind of like the Internet, except with way more ads and censorship, and you can’t watch things whenever you want unless you buy a TiVo.

But still: TV! Woo!

The next HAWP is titled “The Best Characters of 2010,” or something, and it’ll air during this Thursday’s episode of GTTV, at 1am.

The curse words will be censored.

The footage of my sister dry-fapping to a picture of herself will not.

EDIT: To clarify, the episode will be thrown onto Gametrailers.com after the GTTV episode airs. If anything, this just means that the show will hit gametrailers.com almost a full day earlier than it would have otherwise.

Season three begins!

The first episode will air next Thursday night. Throughout the year, we’ll also — and this is pretty cool — be showcasing particular episodes on GameTrailers TV.

As in, the TV show.

As in, Ash and I will be on the actual television box device.

The season 2 DVD should also be available sometime in the next few weeks.